“Optimism is the happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” Mary Lou Retton
Optimism is the attitude that good things will happen and that people’s wishes or aims will ultimately be fulfilled. (American Psychology Association).
Let me start with a famous folklore that many of us must have heard while growing up. Once upon a time there was a king who went into the jungle for hunting with his minister. The minister, while trying to hunt a bird, misses the arrow which unfortunately hurts the kings’ finger. Furious and in pain, the king asks the minister to go out of his sight and banishes him with immediate effect. The minster was a wise old man and takes his punishment very positively and leaves and so does the kings on his journey back to the kingdom. On his way the king is raided by tribals, who capture him. The tribal head orders his fellow tribesmen to offer the captured king to their gods as a sacrifice. At the alter the chief priest discovers the kings bleeding finger. “An incomplete body cannot be sacrificed and will anger the gods,” said the priest. The king was released and rushes back to his kingdom. The king realizes that how an unfortunate accident committed by his minister has helped save his life. He orders his soldiers to search the minister and bring him back to the kingdom. The soldiers find the minister and bring him to the king. The king apologizes, thanks and narrates the whole incident to the minister. The wise old minister is optimistic. He also thanks the king for banishing him and sending him away. The king is confused and asks the minister to explain himself. The witty minister replies, “If you wouldn’t have banished me, I would have been with you and finding me in complete form, the tribals would have sacrificed me.” The minister concludes that whatever happens in our life there is always something good in it. Optimism is how people explain the cause of an event or the effects of an event in a positive manner. The foundation of optimism is on the hope that good things happen out of any eventuality in your life. It also bases itself on the fundamental premises that we need to see the positive side of things. Is it easy? Well, it’s not easy, it appears difficult. One of the reasons for this presumed difficulty is well explained in our tendency as humans, called “the missing tile syndrome” The term was coined by Dennis Prager (Book: Happiness is a Serious Problem) where he explains how we humans focus on shortcomings or deficiencies (negatives) rather than the positive side of things. This focus on the shortcomings often leads to sadness, disappointments and dissatisfactions. Does it mean we should overlook our shortcomings? The answer is no. We must acknowledge our shortcomings to a point where we start working on making them or converting them to our advantage and strength. Coming back to looking at the positive side of things and being optimistic. There are various advantages of being optimistic. Positive outlook attracts happiness and leads to contentment. It also helps to generate positive emotions and curtails negative emotions. It helps in being adaptable and resilient. It helps in developing a feeling of higher self-worth. This has an overall impact and bearing on our mental and physical health and thus helps us to improve our relationship with ourselves and others. A small caution, while it is important to remain optimistic, one must also ensure we do not slip into ‘unrealistic optimism’. It is also known as optimistic bias and we must ensure that we do not fall prey to an illogical approach to positivity.
If you are someone who is not optimistic or a little there and want to work on developing positive outlook then these are some simple tips that you can begin with;
1. Train your mind in hopeful thinking, hope for a good out come or hope that what ever is the outcome you will accept as it’s the best for you
2. Reframe your thoughts, convert the negatives into positives. Start wiring your brain to flip the negative thoughts into positive ones.
3. Start noticing the small positive things happening around you. Don’t stop there, start acknowledging them and start developing the feeling of gratitude.
4. You should get into the habit of not blaming your self if things go wrong. At the same time start appreciating yourself and keep taking credit for the things that have gone well.
5. Acknowledge your inner strengths and start utilizing them to your advantage.
6. The most important one is to surround yourself in the company of optimistic and positive people.
Let’s be hopeful and let’s be positive.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty - Winston Churchill
