Self-Love is Self-Healing!!!
As we observe Mental Wellness Month this January, I feel compelled to explore a crucial aspect of overall well-being — Self-Love. This reflective journey stems from my firm belief in the profound impact that self-love and compassion can have on an individual.
Embarking on the path of counseling and therapy has not only allowed me to aid others but has also spurred my personal growth. Living through my clients’ experiences, I realized the paramount importance of self-love in fostering well-being. However, it wasn't until I faced a crisis in my own life that I truly grasped the toll that neglecting self-love can take on mental and physical health.
In the midst of life's chaos and my relentless efforts to fix everything, I found myself emotionally drained. Recognizing the need for a pause, I, as a counselor, took a break to tend to my fractured heart and mind. The remedy was simple yet profound — practicing self-compassion and self-love that I consistently advocated for my clients.
Defining Self Love
Self-love extends beyond mere affection for oneself; it entails wholehearted support of physical, psychological, and spiritual growth (Khoshaba, 2012). Embracing one's worthiness of love and respect involves acknowledging one’s strengths and weaknesses while addressing physical, psychological, and spiritual needs.
Challenges in Cultivating Self-Love
Despite our ability to love others, extending the same compassion to ourselves can be a challenge. To love oneself, it is essential to develop self-compassion — treating oneself with warmth and understanding during difficult times and acknowledging the human nature of making mistakes (Kristin Neff).
While self-compassion can be chosen at any moment, self-love is a more enduring construct that requires intentional cultivation.
Transforming Negative Thought Patterns
Most of our problems may begin with a simple thought. With self-awareness and mindfulness of my thoughts and emotions, I realized I have been putting myself down and being harsh on myself, which all just began with negative self-talks. The negative thought patterns can be insidious, forming a self-destructive cycle of criticism for perceived flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings. Imagine expressing these thoughts to a loved one — it would sound heartless and unkind. Cultivating self-love involves being mindful of these patterns and reframing negative self-talk with gentler, less judgmental language.
A Personal Journey to Self-Love
Navigating the most challenging phase of my life, slipping into isolation and experiencing worsened functionality, I recognized it was time to take care of myself. The more I relied on others, the more I harmed myself delaying the process of healing. Thus, I embarked on a journey of self-awareness, acknowledging and nurturing my emotions and thoughts. The path to my self-love involved.
Being kind to myself, forgiving my mistakes, letting go of uncontrollable factors, accepting others as they are, practicing gratitude, engaging in activities that brought joy, connecting with nature
Implementing Self-love into daily action
The pivotal question arises: How can one translate the concept of self-love into tangible, everyday actions? Here is a detailed account of the steps I took to infuse self-love into my daily routine:
Slowing down the Hustle-Bustle: Recognizing that my personal and professional life had become an overwhelming whirlwind, I decided to intentionally slow down. The realization dawned upon me that I had reached a threshold where even the slightest stress could potentially shatter me.
Simple Changes in Routine: Amidst the demands of a busy day, I made deliberate and simple adjustments to prioritize self-care and 'Me-time' activities.
Connecting with Nature: Harnessing the healing power of nature, I began by fostering a deeper connection with Mother Earth. What had been a mere interest transformed into a conscious effort. Early morning walks, moments spent watching the sunrise, and engaging in simple gardening activities became integral to my routine.
Rediscovering Childhood Hobbies: As part of this self-love journey, I revisited a childhood passion — learning to play the guitar. The act of indulging in a nostalgic hobby not only brought joy but contributed significantly to enhancing both my emotional and physical well-being.
Incorporating Yoga & Meditation: Introducing regular sessions of yoga and meditation into my daily routine, not only provided a physical release but also played a crucial role in reshaping negative thought patterns, offering me better control over my emotions.
Spiritual Practices: To nourish my spiritual well-being, I incorporated moments of prayer, chanting, and expressions of gratitude into my daily life. These practices not only fostered a sense of connection with something greater than myself but also contributed to a profound sense of inner peace.
Acceptance & Letting Go: Acknowledging that certain aspects of life were beyond my control, I consciously practiced acceptance and the art of letting go. This shift in mindset enabled me to redirect my focus from dwelling on losses to appreciating what I still had and what I could strive to achieve.
Benefits of Self-Love
Speaking from my own experiences, I can undoubtedly vouch for the immense benefits of self-love, which include:
· Increased self-esteem
· Reduced stress and anxiety
· Better relationships
· Feeling in control
· Finding your values and purpose
· Setting healthy boundaries
· Building resilience
The journey of infusing self-love into my daily life marked by intentional and transformative steps, collectively led to a profound transformation. Despite life’s challenges, I regained a sense of control, inner peace and happiness. As said, when a simple practice that one can incorporate into oneself can be so powerful for self-healing without having to depend on others for support
or validation, what’s the harm in cultivating it?
Embracing your flaws and extending compassion to yourself, is the key to your overall well-being. As aptly stated by Robert Morley,
“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
Let this narrative serve as a reminder — amidst life's imperfections, prioritize self-love for your well-being and self-discovery.
