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LOST IN TRANSITION: FINDING YOURSELF IN CONFUSING 20s
“The 20s are about figuring out who you are and not what the world expects you to be.”
The 20s are like uncharted wilderness, some of the best years of your life and a phase where you feel that everything needs to be figured out—your independence, the opportunities coming your way, and your future prospects. However, it is also a journey of finding hope and tranquility among chaos where after graduation, friends move on to a new field, a new city, and a whole new life. For many of us, it's like being thrown into a maze with no clear exit. We are expected to have it all—career, relationships, and finances while barely having a map to navigate these transitions.
After school, a very different—and uncomfortable for a few of us—adventurous journey begins where the pressure of building a career and often a journey of self-discovery officially starts. During this time, we all go through frequent bouts of anxiety and self-doubt. The 20s are often told to be the best years for exploration, however, it is also in these years of exploration that youngsters lose themselves and their self-respect in the name of being “perfect”. The twenties come along with a lot of uncertainties, the path you have envisioned for yourself might not align with you anymore, and forgetting the “should have-s” and letting go of things that are not meant for us might reduce the pressure we put ourselves under.
Setting small and achievable goals for ourselves, acknowledging each step, and rewarding ourselves for every small step achieved will help boost our self-esteem and confidence to do better. This period of adulthood brings with it challenges that make us question our path, identity, and purpose. The sense of being lost in transition is not uncommon, it’s a shared reality shaped by uncertainty, pressure, and overwhelming choices of modern life. It's okay to choose a road less traveled and make it one that feels right to you. Just the way the sky is not the same shade of blue everywhere, we can paint it however we wish to!
During this phase of life, social expectations often clash with personal aspirations. The pressure to excel academically, get into your dream program, and build your dream career can feel overwhelming at times. Combined with the constant bombardment of success stories and “perfectly sorted-out lives” on social media, it fosters feelings of inadequacy and regret. The comparisons trigger existential questions like, “Am I doing enough?” and “Am I making my loved ones proud?” When the voice in your head keeps making these comparisons, everything starts to feel even more daunting as you strive to achieve what you think you should have.
Career and financial stability are other critical sources of confusion in our twenties. The traditional linear path of education, job, marriage, and success is increasingly obsolete, with gig economies, career shifts, and non-linear growth being the new norm. Yet, the lack of a clear roadmap can make us question our choices, especially when milestones feel out of reach. This is why we need to learn how to embrace and accept the non-linear, trusting that exploration is as valuable as achievement and is a cornerstone on its own. Adding to the complexity is the fluid nature of friendships and relationships during this period of time. As people grow and their priorities change, connections often grow apart. Adapting to all these changing dynamics while struggling with personal insecurities can create a profound sense of loneliness.
A shift in perspective can make the whole process less lonely and exhausting. Our twenties are less about having all the answers and more about asking the right questions. Who am I outside of societal labels? What brings me joy? What values guide my decisions? These questions are essential for navigating the messy, beautiful process of self-discovery. It’s okay to feel lost because that’s where the journey of finding yourself begins. By embracing uncertainty, leaning into discomfort, pushing our boundaries, and staying true to our evolving selves, our twenties can transform from a confusing period of transition into a foundation of authenticity and purpose.
Finding ourselves amidst the chaos requires a balance between introspection and action. There’s no need to hesitate when taking the trial and error method as a tool for self-discovery. Experimenting with interests, hobbies, and career paths without fear of failure will enrich our life experience and foster growth. Self-reflection, through journaling, therapy, or simply time alone, helps find clarity regarding our values and priorities. Accepting that uncertainty is a natural part of life—and not a personal failure—can ease the burden of expectations.
