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“When you can't change the direction of the wind – adjust your sails.”
H. Jackson Brown Jr.
This quote says a lot and is quite relatable to the struggles in our daily lives. I want to touch upon something indicated in this quote, i.e. our attitude. Attitude in psychology is defined as a person's general evaluation of an idea, a thing, or even a person. It’s summarized as how someone feels or thinks about something. We must understand that attitude is based on three distinct things—our beliefs, our emotions, and our past experiences. These three things help shape our attitude toward everything and everyone else.
All of us go through multiple hardships and challenges in our lives. In the fight against these adversities, choosing the right attitude to face them with is of utmost importance. There is a famous saying, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.” Take a look at this famous fable for example: A chef’s daughter was always grumpy and complaining. She would come to her father and complain about all the hardships in her life, one after another. It looked like she was struggling with every single thing. Her father, a wise man, took her to the kitchen, took three pots, poured water in them, and put the pots on high flame on three stoves.
In one pot, he added some potatoes; in the second, he added eggs; and in the third, he added coffee beans. The daughter restlessly watched on, not understanding what her father was up to. After 20 minutes of wait, the father stopped the stoves and put the potatoes and eggs each on a plate, and the coffee in a mug.
“What do you see?” asked the father.
“Potato, eggs, and coffee,” the daughter replied. He then told her to look closer and to try touching the potatoes.
“They are soft,” said the daughter. Then, she took the eggs, peeled the hard shell, and found hard-boiled eggs inside. Finally, she took the mug in her hand and smelled the brewed coffee with a smile.
The father explained, “The potato was hard and strong when put in the pot, but it gave in to the heat and came out soft and weak. The eggs were fragile and the outer shell was protecting the insides. When boiled, the inner part became hard and solid. The coffee beans when exposed to boiling water became different and turned into a new, aromatic drink.
“My dear, which one are you?” he asked the daughter. “When life throws challenges at us and we are faced with adversities, it’s up to us to decide whether we become the potato, the egg, or the coffee bean.”
I have personally been through plenty of difficult situations in my own life. Once it’s over, I would ponder on how I addressed it and what I could have done differently to deal with it better. These self-reflections helped me realize that what’s important is not the solution but my attitude toward solving the problem. This is easier said than done and needs a lot of practice. We have to consciously start grooming ourselves and it’s pivotal for us to ask ourselves if we want to be the potato, the egg, or the coffee beans while handling the situation.
It will take a lot of patience and practice to come out as coffee beans. Your attitude towards addressing your situation can dramatically alter the outcomes for you. Since attitudes are learned tendencies it’s important to manage them from the core. This core includes the cognitive (beliefs and thoughts), the affective (emotions), and the behavior (our actions). These three aspects have to be in alignment to work together in a manner that could get you the desired outcome from any situation. Going back to the example of the sail, the direction of the wind is not in your locus of control, however adjusting the sail is and it can make your journey smooth and less volatile. A positive attitude is immensely helpful in carving a path out for ourselves in turbulent times.
In my personal experience, the following things helped me a great deal,
Today, I am sharing with you a few things that personally helped me navigate better through troubling situations.
Like I said, we need to choose by ourselves how we want to address any problem, situation, or negative experience in life. Positive outcomes require the correct attitude and a positive outlook. From all my experience, I have learned that I don’t have to be defined by my fears and insecurities. I can choose to embrace my vulnerability and let myself learn to make a path forward, no matter how difficult my circumstances are. As I did so, I have found myself feeling more grounded and focused even amidst chaos.
So, I will end this blog today by reminding you of one thing: Your attitude is everything!
